(No, this is not some crazy PETA post. Just bear with me, soon all will be clear..)
I registered this blog name less than a week ago and I’ve already found myself questioning why I need a blog. Don’t I have enough to do??
Maybe not. My only child just started kindergarten. I don’t have a real job. The online classes I’m taking give me just enough work to get me through about, oh.. noon on Monday mornings.
So what do I do with the rest of my time?
(Silence)
(Crickets chirping)
Seriously though.. I own a home, it comes with a YARD.. and rooms with floors and shit. I have a 5-year-old boy who likes to line every surface with Pop Tart crumbs and snot. And a grown ass man who leaves a trail of “just in case” clothes from the bed to the back door. I’m also pretty sure that they sometimes always forget where our trash can is located. Not to mention the 80 lb golden retriever that sheds enough to make coats for ALL of those poor, freezing Inuits.
Lately, my days go as follows:
- Sweep
- Open wine
- Vacuum
- Cuss at The Dog for filling up said vacuum
- Have a drink
- Empty vacuum canister
- Yell at The Dog for scratching another 10 lbs of fur onto the rug I just vacuumed
- Drink some more
- Re-vacuum rug
- Realize there is more fur in the bedrooms that The Dog isn’t even allowed in
- Silently weep in the corner, clutching my half empty bottle
Hopefully by now, Grown Ass Man is feeling sorry enough for me and will head to Best Buy for a Roomba. Or wherever you get those mechanical miracles.
Once I’m united with Mr. Roomba, I can fill my days with more meaningful things, like rainbows and unicorns crafting, organizing, and rearranging furniture 28 times before deciding I liked it the way it was.
For today, I’m going to let the fur reign the Shobe Abode. We will just pray the floors don’t collapse and the ceilings don’t explode. I’ll be busy watching football and making some baby shower gifts for my cousin, who has a sweet baby girl due in October. So stay tuned for the next post, full of baby gift tutorials!
What does everyone else do about pet hair build-up? Did I miss some major memo about this? Should I give in and shave The Dog?
the hooched up housewife 